*Long winding ramble*.
I am off to London for a few days tomorrow with the wife and anyone who knows me knows that I hate flying and as the most irresponsible Person on the planet by a long way I have no will made should the plane smash into a mountain in a fireball I would like this to be my last will and testament.
All the shit I have accumulated over the years is to be burned... except for my fully completed 1986 full panini sticker album and the poster of Franco Baresi. Gerry power can have them.
I have no idea who the house is insured with or who I have life assurance with because I'll be dead and won't care.Sort out that shit out yourselves. Never bought into that whole "provide for your family when you are gone" way of thinking, after all I'm dead so I'm not all that concerned. I have bigger problems like the Ninth Circle of hell rather than discuss who gets my dubarry's.
I had a great run of of it. I have seen and done some crazy shit in my 36 years. Enough to fill 5 other lifetimes. Left nothing after me and tried everything that came my way. I honestly don't know how people live without trying something new everyday or when they can.
I am off to London for a few days tomorrow with the wife and anyone who knows me knows that I hate flying and as the most irresponsible Person on the planet by a long way I have no will made should the plane smash into a mountain in a fireball I would like this to be my last will and testament.
All the shit I have accumulated over the years is to be burned... except for my fully completed 1986 full panini sticker album and the poster of Franco Baresi. Gerry power can have them.
I have no idea who the house is insured with or who I have life assurance with because I'll be dead and won't care.Sort out that shit out yourselves. Never bought into that whole "provide for your family when you are gone" way of thinking, after all I'm dead so I'm not all that concerned. I have bigger problems like the Ninth Circle of hell rather than discuss who gets my dubarry's.
I had a great run of of it. I have seen and done some crazy shit in my 36 years. Enough to fill 5 other lifetimes. Left nothing after me and tried everything that came my way. I honestly don't know how people live without trying something new everyday or when they can.
I have laughed to the point of collapse in the company of friends and family and even requested an operation to have my laugh removed years ago it hurt so much.I now only laugh on the inside.
Forrest Gump said life is like a box of chocolates.... He was right! I ate the box and bought a second box and ate those as well. Even the orange barrels.
To all my family and close friends I love you dearly. memories never cease and ill always have those.
All I ask in reality is for someone to take care of the two girls. Raise them good with manners. Teach them all there is to know about life. Education will only take them so far. Make sure they know the world, right from wrong, good from bad. Let nobody hurt them and let them hurt no one. Make sure they take everyday like I did as a bonus and never let them experience hate same as I have never. Hate is too heavy a burden on the soul.there is not a word in the dictionary to describe how I love ye girls. Ye never leave my mind for a second.Pure and utter joy and pride is all ye bring me and undefined love.
I will leave Aunty Aimee and uncle Johnny as guardian because the grand parents have raised enough, auntie Catherine would only show them how to Max a credit card or get parking fines, Aunty Liz doolittle is obsessed with animals and I'd be worried for them, Uncle William or uncle Gary are lucky they can breathe unaided so that leaves Aimee who has the right amount of crankiness and sense to raise them for us. She is like the pipe piper anyway with smallies.
If ye can , get something named after me like a park bench or a rose garden. Think of us often. Don't forget us.
I'd like to pretend that when the plane is going down I'd be calm and smile as I think of my life flashing before me but let's be honest ill be bawling crying and in an awful panic putting on 6 oxygen masks while inflating the yellow yokeybob and blowing the whistle while screaming "we are all going to die".
At least i'll have clean socks and jocks on which is essential in any death situation. Ye will find my body clung to the black box recorder as the air crash investigators always find that.
My final words:
Forrest Gump said life is like a box of chocolates.... He was right! I ate the box and bought a second box and ate those as well. Even the orange barrels.
To all my family and close friends I love you dearly. memories never cease and ill always have those.
All I ask in reality is for someone to take care of the two girls. Raise them good with manners. Teach them all there is to know about life. Education will only take them so far. Make sure they know the world, right from wrong, good from bad. Let nobody hurt them and let them hurt no one. Make sure they take everyday like I did as a bonus and never let them experience hate same as I have never. Hate is too heavy a burden on the soul.there is not a word in the dictionary to describe how I love ye girls. Ye never leave my mind for a second.Pure and utter joy and pride is all ye bring me and undefined love.
I will leave Aunty Aimee and uncle Johnny as guardian because the grand parents have raised enough, auntie Catherine would only show them how to Max a credit card or get parking fines, Aunty Liz doolittle is obsessed with animals and I'd be worried for them, Uncle William or uncle Gary are lucky they can breathe unaided so that leaves Aimee who has the right amount of crankiness and sense to raise them for us. She is like the pipe piper anyway with smallies.
If ye can , get something named after me like a park bench or a rose garden. Think of us often. Don't forget us.
I'd like to pretend that when the plane is going down I'd be calm and smile as I think of my life flashing before me but let's be honest ill be bawling crying and in an awful panic putting on 6 oxygen masks while inflating the yellow yokeybob and blowing the whistle while screaming "we are all going to die".
At least i'll have clean socks and jocks on which is essential in any death situation. Ye will find my body clung to the black box recorder as the air crash investigators always find that.
My final words:
When life gets ya down just sit back, take a deep breath and think how huge this world is and all that goes with it. We are all 100% guaranteed bad times in our future so why would you want to waste anymore time than you have in life not enjoying the minute,hour or day you have in front of you because its all we have. One day at a time.
Good luck and thanks!P
Good luck and thanks!P
Please play smack my bitch by up by prodighy at my funeral or thunderstruck. I mean it. Think of me every time you see the sun. Not very often I know...
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