Lucky to be alive would be an understatement.I've been on many stags with all sorts of messing from the insane and dangerous to downright illegal actions and the only difference this time to so many others was it was ûa really good friends stag which always kicks it up a notch.Fellas begged borrowed,stole or held up their local maxol to make it and away we went to Galway. There will be no names or major stories inline with Article 5 section 34a of the rules of the stag act 1900. These are just some observations as always.
My car and two occupants were first to arrive at the Western Hotel in Galway on Friday around 6pm ish having made great time. A lovely lady in reception with decent enough english tells me I can't check in as I am not the person that booked it. I am never rude to people I don't know but explain nicely that the person who booked it won't be coming (a complete lie) and she is still hesitant. I offer to leave money with her or indeed sing her her favourite song and she relents and gives us a key to our apartment.
She then tells us getting to the private underground car park is tricky and proceeds to give me a load of information that NASA wouldn't work out.She also gives us a key fob. I told her I'd need a degree to work all that out and I'd ring her if i got stuck.35 (yes 35 mins) later and numerous incorrect turns down one way streets we still havent found the car park. You would have to see the confusion,stress,sweat and abuse I had to endure to find a car park that was 10 feet away from the hotel but impossible to find due to one way systems and 2 other close by normal car parks both of which we visited and paid to get out of.
At this early stage (and no beer yet) 3 lads who cannot stand the site of each other anymore and have lost the will to live, have a brain wave. We suddenly remembered that the lady said "UNDERGROUND" car park so why were we after entering 2 "OVERGROUND" car parks? Better yet we said that if we were nearby that the key fob would open pandoras box for us. Sure enough after pressing on the key fob button for about 30 seconds walking up and down we see a gate open up like something out of Indiana Jones and the stag of doom.It genuinley wasn't marked well but the sense of joy let us forget what idiots we were and for those few moments we hugged,cried and forgave each other on a side street in Galway much to the amusement of passers by.We promised to never fight with each other again.It was a life changing experience.
We decend to level -2 like we were told and get our gear out of the car and head to side door to go up the lift to our apartment but the door needs an access code which I left at the reception of the hotel. I take out my phone under a lot of name calling and there is no reception.This is all too much for one of the lads who has had enough like in a vietnam war movie and he goes to launch at the door with his shoulder,legs and anything else he can use but we catch him in time. We are all in a bad way emotionally but eventually get the code and go to our apartmenst which are the tonic we needed with spectacular views over eyre square and Galway Bay.
Needing a beer more than air we decide to head to the hotel bar to chill out and await the arrival of the lads. The 2 lads are ripping me to shreds still with abuse when I remind them they were stupid enough to come with me as if it were me (and i wasnt driving) I'd have waited in bar til they parked. That shut them up fairly lively!
As is my nature I can't leave the 2 cars about to arrive in the lurch and I help get the rest of the boys booked in and show them the car park etc with a running commentary of what had happend to us. We are naturally christened the three stooges for the remainder of the weekend but at least they bought me a pint realising you would want to be Stephen Hawking to find the fuckin car park.We all settle in for the Ireland match with all the talk being of the splendour of our apartments. I have to remind fellas to take their knickers out of their arses as we are not a feckin hen and buy a round of tequilla. Let the games begin............
to be continued.......
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